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From our “Ask a Question” mailbag: My dad named me his power of attorney. For many years I helped pay his bills and care for him. After years of in-house care and then a nursing home in Lehigh County, all his money was gone except one small account which we both split. My brother thinks I stole the money, but that is not true. He has served me a citation to account for my actions under the power of attorney, what do I do now?

By accepting the position of agent through your father’s Power of Attorney, you became a fiduciary. As a fiduciary, you owed your father a duty to look out for his interests. But that job also comes with the obligation to explain your actions as agent to certain people.

An interested party can ask for you to account for all the actions you took as the agent. During his life, this could have been your father. Now that your father has died, your brother (as the heir to half his estate) has the right to ask for a power of attorney accounting from you because if it is found that you took any money, half of anything recovered will go to him.

From our “Ask a Question” mailbag: My partner and I have been together for over 25 years. Marriage would be nice, but I have the most money and his family has a history of long life. I worry that if I die and I give him everything, he may outlive those funds.

“Veteran” lesbian and gay couples cannot be blamed for hesitating to tie the knot. After years of planning for retirement as two single people, getting married late in life can throw a curveball into the financial and estate planning game. Getting married changes your tax status and eligibility for various government benefits. So, like any other huge life decision, marriage should be examined with an eye for retirement and asset protection efficiencies.

From our “Ask a Question” mailbag: I have served as the executor for my grandfather’s Bucks County estate for over a year and wish to close the estate, but my uncle claims that I have embezzled money from the estate. This is unfounded, but how can I close the estate while he makes these claims?

As the executor, you could make an “at risk” distribution of the estate assets. This means you distribute the money without getting a release. This is not advisable, as your uncle could then use his inheritance to hire a Bucks County Orphans’ Court Lawyer to force you to file a formal account. Because you would have distributed the estate funds, this cost would come out of your pocket.

From our “Ask a Question” Mailbag: After my father’s death, a man arrived claiming to be my father’s illegitimate son. The will says that my father’s estate is divided between his heirs, “per stirpes.” Can this man get a share of the estate?

Per Stirpes

The phrase “per stirpes” literally means “by the branch”; distributing an estate equally down the bloodline. So, if your father did not exclude this man and if he is truly your father’s son, then he gets a share of the estate. The estate can demand that he take a DNA test to prove he is your father’s son. This is possible by using your blood and that of your siblings. However, this may require a Petition and order from the Orphans’ Court. Therefore it would be wise for the Personal Representative to retain an experienced Estate Litigation Attorney.

From our “Ask a Question” mailbag: I have signed a General Power of Attorney giving my girlfriend the power to act for me, but I don’t want her to have it yet. I only want her to have it when (and if) I become unable to care for myself. Should I keep it in my safe at home? We both live in Bucks County, so she is close by.

The problem with putting your General Power of Attorney in your safe is that if you become incapacitated, your girlfriend will likely be unable to get into the safe. You could give her the combination to the safe, but that runs contrary to your wish. If she has the combination, she can get to the General Power of Attorney at any time. This is a common problem.

From our “Ask a Question” mailbag: My father recently died a resident of Philadelphia and I am the executor of his estate. The will says that he wants $5,000 spent for his wake at his favorite stripper bar. My sister is going to be upset. Can she stop me from honoring dad’s wishes? I read on your site that funerals and wakes are deductible. Is a wake at a striper bar deductible?

In some cultures, the wake is a festive event. In others, it is a somber event.

Your dad went for festive.

His putting his wish in the will and giving you a specific dollar amount puts you on firm ground. If he had just told you this wish without putting it into writing, your sister could more easily stop the wake or later demand that you pay for it out of your share.

From our “Ask a Question” mailbag: My father, a resident of Delaware County, Pennsylvania, died of dementia 12 years ago. Shortly before he died, his will was changed giving everything to my cousin. We believed that my father died broke, but now that my cousin died, we found out that he had a joint account with her containing a large sum of money. The prior will states that I would receive ¼ of his estate. Can I challenge the will?

First, a will challenge case alone based on incapacity or undue influence, even if successful, would not help you. You stated that the funds were in a joint account. A joint account passes outside of probate, meaning the will has no effect on the joint ownership. To be successful, you would first have to prove that the joint account was created improperly-perhaps under undue influence or forgery-so that the assets would pour into the estate. Then you would have to prove that the existing will was invalid.

From our “Ask a Question” mailbag: Years ago, I gave my husband a General Durable Power of Attorney. Now I am divorced, living in Montgomery County, and I want to give Power of Attorney to my daughter. My Ex will not give me the old Power of Attorney. Can I revoke or void the Power of Attorney if he still has the original?

Yes, you can void a Power of Attorney at any time as long as you have the requisite mental capacity. Your situation will be a little more complex, as you have given the original document to your former agent. I have not seen that Power of Attorney, but it may have a paragraph that states that banks and others need not confirm with you that the document is still in power.

From our “Ask a Question” mailbag: I am worried about having someone sue me in the future and would like to shelter my assets from creditors. I have read about Irrevocable Trusts and Revocable Trusts, do they both help avoid creditors and lawsuits?

A Revocable Living Trust is a wonderful tool with many uses, but it does nothing to help you avoid your creditors. Because a Revocable Living Trust is “Revocable.” That means you can take the assets back into your name at any time. Because you can take the assets back, any future creditor you have or any future lawsuit judgement against you can be enforced against the trust.

From our “Ask a Question” mailbag: I am the Personal Representative for my mother’s estate. I have paid all of the creditors and have distributed the estate to my siblings and myself. I don’t think I have anything left to do, how do I close the estate?

Saying that an estate is “closed” is a misnomer, as the estate is never, really closed. The term refers to when the final assets of the estate are distributed, which normally means that the Personal Representative has no further work to perform. This takes place after the family settlement is signed.