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From our “Ask a Question” Mailbag: Encouraging an Elderly Parent to Plan Their Estate Most Recently Updated August 10, 2018. “My father does not have an estate plan. Any advice on how I should convince him to get one?” Encouraging an Elderly Parent to Plan Their Estate Preparing a plan for […]

From our “Ask a Question” mailbag: My mother has Alzheimer’s, so we have sold her house and moved her into my house where my wife and I care for her. My brother is emotionally supportive, but he lives in California so he does not help out with her day-to-day care or decisions dealing with her health or assets. Though she is cooperative, the Alzheimer’s makes caring for her a near full-time job and we have spent a great deal of money on alterations to the house. Can I be reimbursed from her estate for these expenses?

From our “Ask a Question” mailbag: Though always independent, I recently have been diagnosed with a terminal illness and had to move into my daughter’s Delaware County house. I can’t do much for myself anymore and have to rely on my daughter. She is spending a great deal of her time caring for me and she has had to pay for several things out of her own pocket. I want to treat my children equally, but my two sons are very busy and are not able to help, so the work falls all on my daughter. I feel that I need to repay her for all this work at my death, what can I do?

From our “Ask a Question” mailbag: My partner is much older than I and I am worried about the costs of carrying for him in his old age. Would long term care Insurance be a good idea?

From our “Ask a Question” mailbag: My father has reached the age where he has become trusting to a fault. He was called by an unscrupulous telemarketer and fleeced out of several thousand dollars. I am worried that his number will now be passed around to other criminals and he will write more checks. How do I protect my dad from criminal telemarketers?

Your suspicions are right—once your dad’s recognized as a potential “mark” among the criminal community, he could become a target for scammers who pretend to be calling him on your behalf, asking for payments toward funeral expenses, emergency medical bills, or sweepstakes prize processing fees. According to the FBI, your father likely shares traits that were common among his generation — raised to be polite and trusting, and often reluctant to hang up the phone even if they suspect a scam.

From our “Ask a Question” mailbag: Before she died, my aunt lived with me in Burlington County, New Jersey for several years. My wife and I took her to the doctor and cared for her when she became bedridden. She died without a will and all her assets are being divided between my cousins. They never helped with her care. This is not fair. Can I make the estate pay me for my time?

Under New Jersey rules, your Aunt could have made a will and given you the entire estate, or had a will that said you would receive some of her estate to reflect the work you did. Because she did not make a will, the New Jersey intestate rule divides her assets between all her children, equally.

From our “Ask a Question” mailbag: Before she died, my mother-in-law lived in Delaware County, Pennsylvania and I drove from the Jersey Shore every weekend to take care of her. Now that she has died, her estate is being divided up between her children and they refuse to compensate me for all the miles I traveled taking care of their mother. Can I make a claim to be paid?

Your mother-in-law’s estate is to be divided up between the heirs as her will dictates, or through the rules of intestacy if she had no will. Prior to the division of the assets, all her creditors will be paid. If you had no agreement showing that you were to be reimbursed, it will be difficult to prove that you are a creditor.

From our “Ask a Question” mailbag: Before she died, my mother lived in my Philadelphia home and required around-the-clock care, which I provided. My brother and sister did not even visit. Now that she has died, her estate is being divided up between us and my siblings refuse to compensate me for all the work I did caring for our mom. Can I make a claim to be paid?

Your mother’s estate is to be divided up between the heirs as her will dictates, or through the rules of intestacy if she had no will. Prior to the division of the assets, all creditors will be paid. If you have no agreement showing that you were doing the work for a fee, it will be difficult to prove that you are a creditor.

From our “Ask a Question” mailbag: When my father became very ill two years ago, we hired a full time caretaker to help him. We live in California and my father lived in Philadelphia, so we could not be there at all times. At his death, we were shocked to find out that his will was changed and the caretaker was the executor. She says all his money was spent on medical care, but that is impossible. We are now being told we are the heirs, but there is no money. I suspect she has stolen his money. What can I do?

You have a few options. If the will has been filed and accepted by the Register, you could appeal the validity of the will to the Philadelphia Orphans’ Court.

Like all insurance, if you end up needing long term care insurance, it can be a great deal. But, if you don’t use it, then you could argue that you wasted your premium payments. In reality, you buy insurance to cover the “what if” situations in life.

I have had plenty of clients that paid for long term health care Insurance that died without using their policy benefits. However, I have also had several clients who fell ill and were able to stay in their homes with in-house care only because of the funds paid out from a long term health care policy.